Cheater's Ballad

Based on exceptionally busy year for divorce lawyers.


Sung to "The Ballad of Jesse James" MJ 6/10

Jesse James knew the score, he'd been married twice before
He ment Hollywood's sweetheart
Sandra waited all her life
To become a mom and wife
But she was blind-sided from the start

Chorus:
Jesse James was a louse
Who cheated on his spouse
His family was brave
But the infidelities of these celebrities
Will follow reputations to the grave

Sandra won a great award, but what was her reward
A husband so untrue
Sandra said he had her back
But she saw the truth and packed
'Cause Jesse was screwed, blued and tatooed

CHORUS:
Jesse James was a louse
Who cheated on his spouse
His family was brave
But the infidelities of these celebrities
Will follow reputations to the grave

Tiger Woods was a lad
When he saw him and his dad
On the Mike Douglas Show
They knew even at age three
He'd be a golf prodigy
A household name and real-life sports hero

CHORUS:
Tiger Woods was a louse
Who cheated on his spouse
His family was brave
But the infidelities of these celebrities
Will follow reputations to the grave

Oh, Tiger was a man
Who golfed like no one can
But lived a double life
So he's in the news reports
Playing in a different sport
And negotiating payments for his wife

CHORUS:
Tiger Woods was a louse
Who cheated on his spouse
His family was brave
But the infidelities of these celebrities
Will follow reputations to the grave

Insert politician here
There's a story every year
Of how he goes astray
And his wife stands by his side
As he eats his humble pie
And watches his career go down the drain

CHORUS:
That politician was a louse
Who cheated on his spouse
His family was brave
But the infidelities of these celebrities
Will follow reputations to the grave

Don't apologize to us
For causing such a fuss
We don't need to hear this mess
Simply take care of your own
Let others cast that first stone
This is not the State of the Marital Union Address!

Repeat last verse as a final chorus

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