Dark Shadows

Sung to: “The Beverly Hillbillies” by Flatt & Scruggs

A parody by M. James

Come and listen to my story ‘bout the Collins family
Everything they do is beset by tragedy
Held a séance at a party, and while that is not a crime
You shouldn’t fool with psychic stuff, now Vicki’s back in time.

1790’s that is — horse and buggy — powdered wigs.

Well the first thing you know, poor Vicki’s in a mess
Peter Bradford said, “Say you’re the governess”
The family took her in, but Abigail’s a pest
Wonderin’ ‘bout the zipper on Vicki’s Nineties dress

1990’s that is — cool iron — permanent press

Josette Dupres came with her maid from Martinique
A blond haired witch by the name of Angelique
She couldn’t have Barnabas, so she did something cruel
And made one brother kill the other in a set up duel

Barnabas spurned Angelique so he’s under a curse

Now he’s a vampire and he doesn’t know what’s worse
Chasing all the bimbos so he can get a date
Or having Willie Loomis as a permanent roommate
Now it’s time to say good-bye to Barney and his kin
They would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin’ in

You’re all invited back next week to their locality

And you may end up with a kind of immortality

Ghost, vampires – that’ll keep you up at night

Nice folks – y’all come back now, hear?

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License