Sung to: “The Beverly Hillbillies” by Flatt & Scruggs
A parody by M. James
Come and listen to my story ‘bout the Collins family
Everything they do is beset by tragedy
Held a séance at a party, and while that is not a crime
You shouldn’t fool with psychic stuff, now Vicki’s back in time.
1790’s that is — horse and buggy — powdered wigs.
Well the first thing you know, poor Vicki’s in a mess
Peter Bradford said, “Say you’re the governess”
The family took her in, but Abigail’s a pest
Wonderin’ ‘bout the zipper on Vicki’s Nineties dress
1990’s that is — cool iron — permanent press
Josette Dupres came with her maid from Martinique
A blond haired witch by the name of Angelique
She couldn’t have Barnabas, so she did something cruel
And made one brother kill the other in a set up duel
Barnabas spurned Angelique so he’s under a curse
Now he’s a vampire and he doesn’t know what’s worse
Chasing all the bimbos so he can get a date
Or having Willie Loomis as a permanent roommate
Now it’s time to say good-bye to Barney and his kin
They would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin’ in
You’re all invited back next week to their locality
And you may end up with a kind of immortality
Ghost, vampires – that’ll keep you up at night
Nice folks – y’all come back now, hear?
