Inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories, the BBC series with Jeremy Brett, and the 2009 movie of the same name. None of which are boring.
Sung to "The Policeman's Song" from "The Pirates of Penzance" by Gilbert & Sullivan (GD 6/10)
When a body’s not a-cooling on the pavement (on the pavement)
When Moriarty isn’t working on his plans (on his plans)
My capacity for “innocent” enjoyment (‘cent enjoyment)
Outstrips that of any other man (other man)
Fiddling ‘till poor Watson starts complaining (starts complaining)
Home re-decorating with a gun (with a gun)
Life without a case can be so draining (be so draining)
A detective’s life a very boring one
Oh!
When there are no cri-imes being done, being done
A detective’s life’s a very boring one (boring one)
When the nobility is finally behaving (finally behaving)
And not a single scandal can be found (can be found)
A dark mystery is what I’m really craving (really craving)
Even something with a bloody hound (bloody hound)
When no one interesting has expired (has expired)
And the 7 % solution’s all but gone (all but gone)
A true challenge is what's really required (really required)
Even testing on the dog stops being fun
Oh!
When there are no cri-imes being done, being done
A detective’s life’s a very boring one (boring one)